Ever since the debut of Pushing Daisies (one of my new favorite shows!), I’ve been contemplating how awesome it would be if ABC filmed a movie-length television feature that brought together all of the fabulous Broadway stars in its shows. This network has a huge treasure trove of excellent singers with Tonys, albums, and whatnot. What a waste of talent for them to just be on TV and NOT break out into song every few minutes.
A semi-brief list of good singers in ABC shows:
- Grey’s Anatomy: Sara Ramirez joined Grey’s after doing Monty Python’s Spamalot, T.R. Knight (George) apparently also has some Broadway experience, and Chandra Wilson (Bailey) showed off her singing skills in a Grey’s episode where her character sings a lullaby to her baby boy over the phone. Also, Sandra Oh (Cristina) recently belted out “Like a Virgin” while doing an autopsy this season.
- Private Practice: I can’t vouch for any of the other actors, but Audra McDonald has won FOUR Tony Awards (three of which she won before she was 28!).
- Ugly Betty: Dude. Vanessa Williams. Seriously.
- Desperate Housewives: Sadly, none of the housewives are musically gifted, but Andrea Bowen, who plays Susan’s daughter, was part of the original cast of a Sound of Music revival as Marta von Trapp.
- Samantha Who?: Christina Applegate was nominated for a Tony Award for Sweet Charity.
- Brothers & Sisters: Both Calista Flockhart and Ron Rifkin (Saul) have Broadway experience (Rifkin won a 1998 Tony for Cabaret).
- Pushing Daisies: Last but not least, the jackpot. Kristin Chenoweth, whose character suffers from unrequited love with Ned, is well-known for her role as Glinda the good witch in Wicked. Swoosie Kurtz and Ellen Greene, who play Chuck’s aunts, are both Tony-winning/nominated (respectively) actresses. And all three already sing in random episodes of Pushing Daisies anyways!
I’m sure I’ve missed some people who done more minor Broadway roles, but the point is there’s definitely enough people to do this musical.
So here’s the big plan. We do a big crossover musical where all the characters from ABC primetime sing, dance, and cause big drama in one show. I’m still working on the plot, but it should go something like this:
Evil Wilhelmina Slater opens the film with a catchy tune about her conniving plans to conquer the Meade empire. She comes to Seattle Grace hospital because Christina, her baby-surrogate, is having complications with Bradford Meade’s baby. The Grey’s Anatomy doctors need help from Addison and her Private Practice gang (as they have yet to hire a new pre-natal surgeon) so she comes up from LA for a visit.
It just so happens that at the same time, Samantha Newly is getting a check-up by Derek Shepherd because her amnesia isn’t getting any better. She gets a flashback of bad Samantha being horribly mean to five housewives on Wisteria Lane and she leaves the hospital singing of her determination to make things up to them (out of hospital subplot).
Former presidential candidate Robert McCallister is also at Seattle Grace with his wife Kitty Walker, who desperately hopes to conceive (the rest of the Walker clan somehow find out, call each other in that big family gossipy kind of way, and tag along, Nora asks nagging motherly questions like usual, and maybe Sarah Walker has a fling with Alex Karev).
Finally, Ned, Chuck, and Emerson Cod sneak into the hospital morgue to investigate the latest murder case and Olive Snook tries to follow them to see what they’re up to (perhaps she serenades Ned from afar). It turns out the cure to everyone’s medical problems is a therapeutic trip to watch Chuck’s aunts’ synchronized swimming act the Darling Mermaid Darlings (complete with a musical performance). Ned and company tag along and catch the murder culprit at the show and the movie ends with a big happy song where Dancing with the Stars contestants join the dance sequence.
Oh yeah, and the whole thing should be narrated by the Pushing Daisies narrator with the British accent who will say awesome things like “Wilhelmina Slater had been alive for exactly 46 years 22 days 11 hours 2 minutes and 51 seconds when she decided to supplant Daniel Meade as editor-in-chief of Mode Magazine.”
What would make this movie even better would be if they did something like only sang Backstreet Boys songs the entire time. It’ll be like Scary Movie meets Mamma Mia!. But with better humor and better singing. It would blow High School Musical 3 right out of the water.
To show you how well this proposal could work, the following is a clip of how musical-esque scenes are wonderfully integrated into Pushing Daisies episodes. Just imagine this video, except a lot longer and with more people. Enjoy!
(P.S. It sort of scares me that I know stuff about all these random shows. Too much TV for Sophia. Tsk Tsk.)